Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. ┬┐Procedencia? VIC
  2. 121BC NSW
  3. A.Baker ACT
  4. Ace Pizza WA
  5. Africola SA
  6. Apothecary 1918 SA
  7. Bar H Dining NSW
  8. Bistro Dom SA
  9. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  10. Bistro Vue VIC
  11. Black Fire ACT
  12. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  13. Brooks VIC
  14. Cafe Paci NSW
  15. Cantina 663 WA
  16. Chianti SA
  17. Cinnamon Club SA
  18. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  19. Coda VIC
  20. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  21. Da Noi VIC
  22. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  23. Epocha VIC
  24. Esquire QLD
  25. Ezard VIC
  26. Felix NSW
  27. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  28. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  29. Flower Drum VIC
  30. Franklin TAS
  31. Gazi VIC
  32. Glass Brasserie NSW
  33. Golden Century NSW
  34. Green Park VIC
  35. Huxtable VIC
  36. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  37. Kenji Modern Japanese SA
  38. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  39. Lau’s Family Kitchen VIC
  40. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  41. Low Key Chow House WA
  42. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  43. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  44. Luxembourg VIC
  45. Maha VIC
  46. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  47. Matteo’s VIC
  48. Merricote VIC
  49. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  50. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  51. Minamishima VIC
  52. Moon Park NSW
  53. Morks ACT
  54. Mr Wong NSW
  55. Nine Fine Food WA
  56. Nobu VIC
  57. Northern Light VIC
  58. Nu Nu, Palm Grove QLD
  59. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  60. Ocha VIC
  61. Ormeggio at the Spit NSW
  62. Osteria Balla NSW
  63. Pata Negra WA
  64. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  65. Petite Mort WA
  66. Pipeclay Pumphouse, Mudgee NSW
  67. Pipers of Penola, Penola SA
  68. Pope Joan VIC
  69. Porteno NSW
  70. Prego WA
  71. Punch Lane VIC
  72. Racine, Orange NSW
  73. Restaurant Orana SA
  74. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  75. Rumi VIC
  76. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  77. Sarti VIC
  78. Sezar VIC
  79. Shankers Authentic Indian Cuisine SA
  80. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  81. Simone’s, Bright VIC
  82. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  83. South on Albany, Berry NSW
  84. Supernormal VIC
  85. The Apollo NSW
  86. The Blue Swimmer at Seahaven, Gerroa NSW
  87. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  88. The Bridge Room NSW
  89. The Commoner VIC
  90. The Daniel O’Connell SA
  91. The Grand VIC
  92. The Mayflower Restaurant SA
  93. The Press Club VIC
  94. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  95. Three Japanese TAS
  96. Urbane QLD
  97. Via Alta NSW
  98. Yellow NSW
  99. Yots Greek Taverna NT
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How Metallica feels deeply insulted by this martini

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Tlaxcalteca Axolotl

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.