Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.


Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. A Tavola NSW
  2. ACME NSW
  3. Akachochin VIC
  4. Alpha NSW
  5. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  6. ARIA Restaurant NSW
  7. Aubergine ACT
  8. Berowra Waters Inn NSW
  9. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  10. Bistro Vue VIC
  11. Black Bird QLD
  12. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  13. Bomba VIC
  14. Bridgewater Mill, Bridgewater SA
  15. Byron Beach Cafe, Byron Bay NSW
  16. Catbird Seat QLD
  17. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  18. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  19. Chianti SA
  20. Chin Chin VIC
  21. China Doll NSW
  22. Cicciolina VIC
  23. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  24. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  25. Coda VIC
  26. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  27. Courgette ACT
  28. Cullens Wines Restaurant, Wilyabrup WA
  29. Danjee NSW
  30. Ezard VIC
  31. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  32. Franklin TAS
  33. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  34. Gazi VIC
  35. Georges on Waymouth SA
  36. Gerard’s Bistro QLD
  37. Glass Brasserie NSW
  38. Glebe Point Diner NSW
  39. Golden Century NSW
  40. Guillaume NSW
  41. Hammer & Tong VIC
  42. Jonah’s NSW
  43. Lanterne Rooms ACT
  44. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  45. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  46. Long Apron, Mountville QLD
  47. Longrain VIC
  48. Madame Hanoi SA
  49. Matilda Bay Restaurant WA
  50. Mercato, Daylesford VIC
  51. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  52. Mister Bianco VIC
  53. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  54. Moda QLD
  55. Monopole NSW
  56. Mr Wong NSW
  57. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  58. Nine Fine Food WA
  59. Nobu VIC
  60. Nolita WA
  61. Novaro’s,Launceston TAS
  62. O Bar and Dining NSW
  63. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  64. Osteria at Stefano Lubiana Winery, Granton TAS
  65. Osteria Balla NSW
  66. Paringa Estate, Red Hill South VIC
  67. Pinbone NSW
  68. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  69. Porteno NSW
  70. Print Hall WA
  71. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  72. Public QLD
  73. Public Inn, Castlemaine VIC
  74. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  75. Punch Lane VIC
  76. Remi De Provence TAS
  77. Ristorante Fellini, Main Beach QLD
  78. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  79. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  80. Rumi VIC
  81. Sake QLD
  82. Sayers Sister WA
  83. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  84. Shira Nui VIC
  85. South on Albany, Berry NSW
  86. Spice Temple NSW
  87. St Isidore, Milton NSW
  88. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  89. Tani Eat & Drink, Bright VIC
  90. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  91. The Foraging Quail QLD
  92. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  93. The Terrace Restaurant, Wahgunyah VIC
  94. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  95. The Vasse Felix Restaurant, Cowaramup WA
  96. Tonka VIC
  97. Ume NSW
  98. Union Food & Wine VIC
  99. Vincent NSW
  100. Windy Point SA

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How The Mars Volta will never see this hamster gif

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

bakcupclair

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Naked for Jesus

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.