Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  2. 85 Miskin St QLD
  3. A Tavola NSW
  4. Africola SA
  5. Aki’s NSW
  6. Apothecary 1918 SA
  7. Bentley Restaurant & Bar NSW
  8. Berardo’s, Noosa QLD
  9. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  10. Bistro Guillaume VIC
  11. Bread and Bone Wood Grill SA
  12. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  13. Cafe Sopra NSW
  14. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  15. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  16. Chat Thai NSW
  17. Chianti SA
  18. Chris’s Beacon Point, Apollo Bay VIC
  19. Circa VIC
  20. Cookie VIC
  21. Da Mario NSW
  22. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  23. Duende WA
  24. Easy Tiger VIC
  25. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  26. Esquire QLD
  27. Fish Face NSW
  28. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  29. Four in Hand NSW
  30. Fuku WA
  31. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  32. Gastro Park NSW
  33. Golden Boy SA
  34. GOMA Restaurant QLD
  35. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  36. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  37. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  38. Hentley Farm, Seppeltsfield SA
  39. Italian&Sons ACT
  40. Jasmin SA
  41. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  42. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  43. Jonah’s NSW
  44. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  45. Knee Deep, Wilyabrup WA
  46. Lalla Rookh WA
  47. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  48. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  49. Lilotang ACT
  50. Lilotang QLD
  51. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  52. Longrain NSW
  53. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  54. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  55. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  56. Mister Jennings VIC
  57. Moda QLD
  58. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  59. Ms G’s NSW
  60. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  61. No 4 Blake Street WA
  62. Nobu Perth WA
  63. Northern Git VIC
  64. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  65. Pei Modern NSW
  66. Pipeclay Pumphouse, Mudgee NSW
  67. Piqueos VIC
  68. Public QLD
  69. Public Dining Room NSW
  70. Restaurant Orana SA
  71. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  72. Rosetta VIC
  73. Rumi VIC
  74. Sake NSW
  75. Sake QLD
  76. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  77. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  78. Sixpenny NSW
  79. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  80. Smolt TAS
  81. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  82. Sushi E NSW
  83. Temporada ACT
  84. Tempura Hajime VIC
  85. Ten Minutes By Tractor, Main Ridge VIC
  86. The Apollo NSW
  87. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  88. The Devonshire NSW
  89. The Elbow Room, McClaren Vale SA
  90. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  91. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  92. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  93. Tonka VIC
  94. Town Hall Hotel VIC
  95. Union Dining VIC
  96. Union Food & Wine VIC
  97. Vincent NSW
  98. Voyager Estate Winery Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  99. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  100. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why James Franco tried to burn this iPod nano

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Los Lobos

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.