Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  2. A La Grecque, Aireys Inlet VIC
  3. Ace Pizza WA
  4. Albert St Food & Wine VIC
  5. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  6. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  7. Bellota VIC
  8. Berardo’s, Noosa QLD
  9. Bistro Felix WA
  10. Black Fire ACT
  11. Cafe Paci NSW
  12. Centonove VIC
  13. Chat Thai NSW
  14. Chin Chin VIC
  15. Chris’s Beacon Point, Apollo Bay VIC
  16. Cinnamon Club SA
  17. Coppa Spuntino QLD
  18. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  19. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  20. Danjee NSW
  21. eightysix ACT
  22. Estelle VIC
  23. Felix NSW
  24. FermentAsian, Tanunda SA
  25. Fino, Willunga SA
  26. Fish Shop NSW
  27. Franklin TAS
  28. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  29. Gingerboy VIC
  30. Green Park VIC
  31. Hartsyard NSW
  32. Il Bacaro VIC
  33. Izakaya Den VIC
  34. Jellyfish QLD
  35. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  36. Jonah’s NSW
  37. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  38. Kenji Modern Japanese SA
  39. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  40. Lebrina TAS
  41. Lee Ho Fook VIC
  42. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  43. Longrain VIC
  44. Longrain NSW
  45. Luxembourg VIC
  46. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  47. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  48. Mister Bianco VIC
  49. Monopole NSW
  50. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  51. Montalto, Red Hill South VIC
  52. Montrachet QLD
  53. Mr Wolf VIC
  54. Mr Wong NSW
  55. No 4 Blake Street WA
  56. Nolita WA
  57. Northern Light VIC
  58. Ottoman Cuisine ACT
  59. Papi Chulo NSW
  60. Pendolino NSW
  61. Petite Mort WA
  62. Public QLD
  63. Public Inn, Castlemaine VIC
  64. Racine, Orange NSW
  65. Red Lantern on Riley NSW
  66. Restaurant Amuse WA
  67. Restaurant Como, Blaxland NSW
  68. Rockpool Bar & Grill WA
  69. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  70. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  71. Sage ACT
  72. Sagra NSW
  73. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  74. Shira Nui VIC
  75. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  76. Sixpenny NSW
  77. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  78. Smolt TAS
  79. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  80. South on Albany, Berry NSW
  81. Spice Temple VIC
  82. Spirit House, Yandina QLD
  83. St Michael WA
  84. Tani Eat & Drink, Bright VIC
  85. Tartufo QLD
  86. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  87. The Commoner VIC
  88. The Dispensary Enoteca, Bendigo VIC
  89. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  90. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  91. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  92. Town, Bangalow NSW
  93. Urbane QLD
  94. Varnish on King WA
  95. Via Alta NSW
  96. Vincent NSW
  97. Vini NSW
  98. Vintners Bar & Grill, Angaston SA
  99. Windy Point SA
  100. Yoshii NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why The Jesus Lizard tried to break an AK-47

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

maca au chocolat

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Bajacaliforniano Uncle

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.