Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.


Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  2. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  3. A.Baker ACT
  4. Ajo NSW
  5. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  6. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  7. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  8. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  9. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  10. Bistro Vue VIC
  11. Black Bird QLD
  12. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  13. Brae, Birregurra VIC
  14. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  15. Capitol Bar & Grill ACT
  16. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  17. Catbird Seat QLD
  18. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  19. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  20. Centonove VIC
  21. Chianti SA
  22. Chin Chin VIC
  23. Cullens Wines Restaurant, Wilyabrup WA
  24. Cumulus Inc VIC
  25. Cutler & Co VIC
  26. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  27. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  28. David’s VIC
  29. Du Fermier, Trentham VIC
  30. Duende WA
  31. eightysix ACT
  32. El Publico WA
  33. Esquire QLD
  34. Estelle VIC
  35. Ezard VIC
  36. Flying Fish NSW
  37. Four in Hand NSW
  38. Fuku WA
  39. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  40. Grossi Florentino VIC
  41. Hanuman NT
  42. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  43. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  44. Lake House, Daylesford VIC
  45. Lion Hotel SA
  46. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  47. Lotus Eaters, Cygnet TAS
  48. Madame Hanoi SA
  49. Malt Dining QLD
  50. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  51. Margan, Broke NSW
  52. Matteo’s VIC
  53. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  54. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  55. Monopole NSW
  56. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  57. Movida NSW
  58. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  59. Must winebar WA
  60. Nunam WA
  61. One Penny Red NSW
  62. Osteria di Russo & Russo NSW
  63. Pastuso VIC
  64. Pata Negra WA
  65. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  66. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  67. Pei Modern VIC
  68. Petite Mort WA
  69. Pinbone NSW
  70. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  71. Popolo NSW
  72. Prive 249 QLD
  73. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  74. Public Dining Room NSW
  75. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  76. Restaurant Two QLD
  77. Rockpool NSW
  78. Ruby’s Mount Kembla, Kembla Heights NSW
  79. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  80. San Telmo VIC
  81. Smoque ACT
  82. Spice Temple VIC
  83. St Isidore, Milton NSW
  84. Street ADL SA
  85. Tani Eat & Drink, Bright VIC
  86. Tempura Hajime VIC
  87. Terroir Auburn, Auburn SA
  88. Tetsuya’s NSW
  89. The Bridge Room NSW
  90. The Foraging Quail QLD
  91. The Source TAS
  92. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  93. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  94. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  95. Tonka VIC
  96. Town Hall Hotel VIC
  97. Union Dining VIC
  98. Yoshii NSW
  99. Yots Greek Taverna NT
  100. Yu-u VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How this dubstep remix admires the emptiness of space

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

bakcrobock

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Malatestitas

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.