Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. ┬┐Procedencia? VIC
  2. 10 William St NSW
  3. Ajo NSW
  4. Albert St Food & Wine VIC
  5. Alpha NSW
  6. Anada VIC
  7. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  8. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  9. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  10. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  11. Bacash VIC
  12. Bar H Dining NSW
  13. Belle’s Hot Chicken VIC
  14. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  15. Bishop Sessa NSW
  16. Bistro Dom SA
  17. Bistro Felix WA
  18. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  19. Black Cow Bistro, Launceston TAS
  20. Bread in Common WA
  21. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  22. Cafe Sopra NSW
  23. Cantina 663 WA
  24. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  25. Carrington Place, Carrington NSW
  26. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  27. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  28. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  29. Cinco bistro QLD
  30. Cinnamon Club SA
  31. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  32. Co-Op Dining WA
  33. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  34. Cookie VIC
  35. Cumulus Inc VIC
  36. Dandelion VIC
  37. Duende WA
  38. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  39. Ecco QLD
  40. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  41. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  42. Estelle VIC
  43. Euro QLD
  44. Ezard VIC
  45. Gazi VIC
  46. Gingerboy VIC
  47. Glass Brasserie NSW
  48. Guillaume NSW
  49. Hammer & Tong VIC
  50. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  51. Huxtable VIC
  52. Izakaya Fujiyama NSW
  53. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  54. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  55. Lalla Rookh WA
  56. Lilotang ACT
  57. Lox Stock & Barrel NSW
  58. LP’s Quality Meats NSW
  59. Lucio’s NSW
  60. Madame Hanoi SA
  61. Merricote VIC
  62. Mister Jennings VIC
  63. Moda QLD
  64. Moon Park NSW
  65. Mr Wong NSW
  66. Nolita WA
  67. Nomad NSW
  68. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  69. Ormeggio at the Spit NSW
  70. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  71. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  72. Pei Modern NSW
  73. Petite Mort WA
  74. Pleased to Meet You WA
  75. Print Hall WA
  76. Public QLD
  77. Red Lantern on Riley NSW
  78. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  79. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  80. Rockwell & Sons VIC
  81. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  82. Rosetta VIC
  83. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  84. Sage ACT
  85. Sean’s Kitchen SA
  86. Shiki SA
  87. St Michael WA
  88. Stokehouse City VIC
  89. Tetsuya’s NSW
  90. The Apollo NSW
  91. The Argus Dining Room, Hepburn Springs VIC
  92. The Dispensary Enoteca, Bendigo VIC
  93. The Foraging Quail QLD
  94. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  95. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  96. Ume NSW
  97. Valentino VIC
  98. Vini NSW
  99. Wills Domain, Yallingup WA
  100. Yellow NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why this iPod nano cooked pancakes for this gravedigger

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Jorge Colombaris

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.