Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. Ace Pizza WA
  2. Ajo NSW
  3. Alpha NSW
  4. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  5. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  6. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  7. Bar H Dining NSW
  8. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  9. Bistro Felix WA
  10. Bistro Guillaume VIC
  11. Bistro Guillaume WA
  12. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  13. Brooks VIC
  14. Capitol Bar & Grill ACT
  15. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  16. Char NT
  17. Chin Chin VIC
  18. China Doll NSW
  19. Cinco bistro QLD
  20. Circa VIC
  21. Cutler & Co VIC
  22. Da Orazio NSW
  23. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  24. Danjee NSW
  25. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  26. Est NSW
  27. Flower Drum VIC
  28. France-Soir VIC
  29. Franklin TAS
  30. Fuku WA
  31. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  32. Georges on Waymouth SA
  33. Gordita QLD
  34. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  35. Grossi Florentino VIC
  36. Hanuman NT
  37. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  38. Huxtable VIC
  39. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  40. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  41. Lake House, Daylesford VIC
  42. Leonards Mill, Second Valley SA
  43. Lilotang QLD
  44. Longrain VIC
  45. Lucio’s NSW
  46. Madame Hanoi SA
  47. Matilda Bay Restaurant WA
  48. Matteo’s VIC
  49. Minamishima VIC
  50. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  51. Momofuku Seiobo NSW
  52. Movida Aqui VIC
  53. Mud Bar & Restaurant, Launceston TAS
  54. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  55. Must winebar WA
  56. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  57. No. 8 by John Lawson VIC
  58. Osteria at Stefano Lubiana Winery, Granton TAS
  59. Osteria di Russo & Russo NSW
  60. Ottoman Cuisine ACT
  61. Pei Modern NSW
  62. Piqueos VIC
  63. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  64. Popolo NSW
  65. Porteno NSW
  66. Public Inn, Castlemaine VIC
  67. Punch Lane VIC
  68. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  69. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  70. Rosetta VIC
  71. Rumi VIC
  72. Sagra NSW
  73. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  74. Sails, Noosa Heads QLD
  75. Sepia NSW
  76. Sezar VIC
  77. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  78. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  79. Smoque ACT
  80. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  81. Temporada ACT
  82. The Artisan ACT
  83. The Bridge Room NSW
  84. The Carlton Wine Room VIC
  85. The Commoner VIC
  86. The Grand VIC
  87. The Lane Vineyard Restaurant, Balhannah SA
  88. The Press Club VIC
  89. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  90. The Town Mouse VIC
  91. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  92. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  93. Tonka VIC
  94. Town Hall Hotel VIC
  95. Uccello NSW
  96. Union Food & Wine VIC
  97. Varnish on King WA
  98. Vintners Bar & Grill, Angaston SA
  99. Yu-u VIC
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How Basement Jaxx spent the weekend with Aaron Paul and humans

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:


Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.

2012 Food Trend Generator

Once again, it is the time of the year when food journalists wheel out the world’s worst portmanteau, the listicle, and predict where food trends will head in 2012. For a writer, they’re brilliant content. No editor is going to sack you if Cambodian does not become the new Thai or the world’s predicted hottest restaurant closes. Your audience does not hold you accountable if the hot food destination that you suggest collapses into civil war. So why not let a machine do the work?

Here’s my automatically generated predictions for the hot food trends of 2012. If they come true, you owe me money.

  1. Zero-Waste Gluttony
  2. Cabbages are the new Cupcakes
  3. Hot Kitchen Tool: The Double beam spectrophotometer
  4. New Habit: Lard Monday
  5. Zero-Waste Egotism
  6. Food Destination: Equatorial Guinea

Press Reload for increasingly accurate 2012 food trends.