Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  3. Ashcrofts, Blackheath NSW
  4. Bar H Dining NSW
  5. Bentley Restaurant & Bar NSW
  6. Beppi’s NSW
  7. Bistro Felix WA
  8. Bistro Thierry VIC
  9. Bistro Vue VIC
  10. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  11. Black Fire ACT
  12. Bread and Bone Wood Grill SA
  13. Bridgewater Mill, Bridgewater SA
  14. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  15. Cafe Nice NSW
  16. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  17. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  18. Chianti SA
  19. Circa VIC
  20. Coda VIC
  21. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  22. Da Noi VIC
  23. Dandelion VIC
  24. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  25. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  26. Easy Tiger VIC
  27. Elyros VIC
  28. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  29. Estelle VIC
  30. Fino, Willunga SA
  31. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  32. Flower Drum VIC
  33. Flying Fish NSW
  34. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  35. Fuku WA
  36. Gerard’s Bistro QLD
  37. Gordita QLD
  38. Green Park VIC
  39. Habitue WA
  40. Hare & Grace VIC
  41. Hartsyard NSW
  42. Jellyfish QLD
  43. Jonah’s NSW
  44. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  45. Lebrina TAS
  46. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  47. Lilotang QLD
  48. Low Key Chow House WA
  49. Lox Stock & Barrel NSW
  50. Lucio’s NSW
  51. LuMi NSW
  52. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  53. Me Wah TAS
  54. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  55. Merricote VIC
  56. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  57. Monopole NSW
  58. Mr Wolf VIC
  59. No 4 Blake Street WA
  60. No. 8 by John Lawson VIC
  61. Nobu VIC
  62. Northern Light VIC
  63. Nunam WA
  64. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  65. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  66. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  67. Peel St SA
  68. Pendolino NSW
  69. Porteno NSW
  70. Print Hall WA
  71. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  72. Quay NSW
  73. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  74. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  75. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  76. Seoul Food NT
  77. Sepia NSW
  78. Shiki SA
  79. St Michael WA
  80. Stokehouse City VIC
  81. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  82. Supermaxi VIC
  83. Sushi E NSW
  84. Temporada ACT
  85. The Atlantic VIC
  86. The Devonshire NSW
  87. The Elbow Room, McClaren Vale SA
  88. The Foraging Quail QLD
  89. The Gala Restaurant WA
  90. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  91. The Lane Vineyard Restaurant, Balhannah SA
  92. The Mayflower Restaurant SA
  93. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  94. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  95. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  96. The Town Mouse VIC
  97. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  98. Tulip, Geelong VIC
  99. Vintners Bar & Grill, Angaston SA
  100. Yots Greek Taverna NT

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Margaret Thatcher tried to marry the 1940s

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Handsome Steve’s Casa of Refreshment

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.

2012 Food Trend Generator

Once again, it is the time of the year when food journalists wheel out the world’s worst portmanteau, the listicle, and predict where food trends will head in 2012. For a writer, they’re brilliant content. No editor is going to sack you if Cambodian does not become the new Thai or the world’s predicted hottest restaurant closes. Your audience does not hold you accountable if the hot food destination that you suggest collapses into civil war. So why not let a machine do the work?

Here’s my automatically generated predictions for the hot food trends of 2012. If they come true, you owe me money.

  1. Danish Dude Food
  2. Clams are the new Cider
  3. Hot Kitchen Tool: The Darning needle
  4. New Habit: Pickling Thursday
  5. Chicken-fried Extremism
  6. Food Destination: Kazakhstan

Press Reload for increasingly accurate 2012 food trends.