Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.


Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  2. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  3. Africola SA
  4. Anada VIC
  5. ARIA Restaurant NSW
  6. Attica VIC
  7. Balla NSW
  8. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  9. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  10. Bistrode CBD NSW
  11. Brooks VIC
  12. Cafe Nice NSW
  13. Carrington Place, Carrington NSW
  14. Cho Cho San NSW
  15. Cinnamon Club SA
  16. Clareville Kiosk NSW
  17. Da Mario NSW
  18. Du Fermier, Trentham VIC
  19. Easy Tiger VIC
  20. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  21. Ethos Eat Drink TAS
  22. Euro QLD
  23. FermentAsian, Tanunda SA
  24. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  25. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  26. Flying Fish NSW
  27. Gastro Park NSW
  28. Gerard’s Bistro QLD
  29. Golden Boy SA
  30. Golden Century NSW
  31. Gordita QLD
  32. Hammer & Tong VIC
  33. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  34. Hartsyard NSW
  35. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  36. Hellenika, Nobby Beach QLD
  37. Hentley Farm, Seppeltsfield SA
  38. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  39. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  40. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  41. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  42. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  43. La Bonta, Kyneton VIC
  44. Lalla Rookh WA
  45. Lebrina TAS
  46. Lee Ho Fook VIC
  47. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  48. Lilotang QLD
  49. Longrain NSW
  50. LuMi NSW
  51. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  52. Mamasita VIC
  53. Me Wah TAS
  54. Merricote VIC
  55. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  56. Mister Bianco VIC
  57. Mister Jennings VIC
  58. Momofuku Seiobo NSW
  59. Moon Park NSW
  60. Mr Wolf VIC
  61. Mud Bar & Restaurant, Launceston TAS
  62. Nine Fine Food WA
  63. No. 8 by John Lawson VIC
  64. Nobu Perth WA
  65. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  66. Osteria Balla NSW
  67. Ottoman Cuisine ACT
  68. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  69. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  70. Popolo NSW
  71. Porteno NSW
  72. Print Hall WA
  73. Public Inn, Castlemaine VIC
  74. Quay NSW
  75. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  76. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  77. Sails, Noosa Heads QLD
  78. Saint Crispin VIC
  79. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  80. San Telmo VIC
  81. Shiki SA
  82. Simone’s, Bright VIC
  83. Smoque ACT
  84. Street ADL SA
  85. Supermaxi VIC
  86. Supernormal VIC
  87. Temporada ACT
  88. Terroir Auburn, Auburn SA
  89. Tetsuya’s NSW
  90. The Commoner VIC
  91. The Elbow Room, McClaren Vale SA
  92. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  93. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  94. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  95. Tipo 00 VIC
  96. Tonka VIC
  97. Valentino VIC
  98. Westend Pump House TAS
  99. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  100. Yu-u VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How this carrier pigeon esteems Roman temples

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Guanajuatense Maid

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.

2012 Food Trend Generator

Once again, it is the time of the year when food journalists wheel out the world’s worst portmanteau, the listicle, and predict where food trends will head in 2012. For a writer, they’re brilliant content. No editor is going to sack you if Cambodian does not become the new Thai or the world’s predicted hottest restaurant closes. Your audience does not hold you accountable if the hot food destination that you suggest collapses into civil war. So why not let a machine do the work?

Here’s my automatically generated predictions for the hot food trends of 2012. If they come true, you owe me money.

  1. Zero-Waste Bacon
  2. Coconut water are the new Cupcakes
  3. Hot Kitchen Tool: The Combi Oven
  4. New Habit: Emetic Sunday
  5. Icelandic Egotism
  6. Food Destination: Chad

Press Reload for increasingly accurate 2012 food trends.