Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. ¿Procedencia? VIC
  2. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  3. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  4. 4Fourteen NSW
  5. 85 Miskin St QLD
  6. Ace Pizza WA
  7. Akachochin VIC
  8. Albert St Food & Wine VIC
  9. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  10. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  11. Attica VIC
  12. Balla NSW
  13. Bistro Dom SA
  14. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  15. Bistro Thierry VIC
  16. Bistrode CBD NSW
  17. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  18. Brae, Birregurra VIC
  19. Bridgewater Mill, Bridgewater SA
  20. Brooks VIC
  21. Byron Beach Cafe, Byron Bay NSW
  22. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  23. Catalina NSW
  24. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  25. Caveau, Wollongong NSW
  26. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  27. Chiswick NSW
  28. Cho Cho San NSW
  29. Clarkes of Northbeach WA
  30. Cookie VIC
  31. Da Mario NSW
  32. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  33. Divido WA
  34. Du Fermier, Trentham VIC
  35. Easy Tiger VIC
  36. Epocha VIC
  37. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  38. Estelle VIC
  39. FermentAsian, Tanunda SA
  40. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  41. Georges on Waymouth SA
  42. Gingerboy VIC
  43. Golden Boy SA
  44. Golden Century NSW
  45. Guillaume NSW
  46. Hill of Grace Restaurant SA
  47. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  48. Il Bacaro VIC
  49. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  50. Kenji Modern Japanese SA
  51. Kent St Kitchen NSW
  52. Komeyui VIC
  53. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  54. Lilotang QLD
  55. Lion Hotel SA
  56. Luxembourg VIC
  57. Malt Dining QLD
  58. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  59. Margan, Broke NSW
  60. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  61. Matteo’s VIC
  62. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  63. Mister Bianco VIC
  64. Monopole NSW
  65. Moon Park NSW
  66. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  67. Nine Fine Food WA
  68. Nobu Perth WA
  69. Noir VIC
  70. Northern Git VIC
  71. Nu Nu, Palm Grove QLD
  72. Papi Chulo NSW
  73. Parwana Afghan Kitchen SA
  74. Pei Modern NSW
  75. Petite Mort WA
  76. Pilu at Freshwater NSW
  77. Print Hall WA
  78. Prix Fixe VIC
  79. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  80. Public Dining Room NSW
  81. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  82. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  83. Sailors Thai NSW
  84. Sake QLD
  85. St Michael WA
  86. Street ADL SA
  87. Sushi E NSW
  88. Tempura Hajime VIC
  89. The Artisan ACT
  90. The Atlantic VIC
  91. The Bridge Room NSW
  92. The Carlton Wine Room VIC
  93. The Commoner VIC
  94. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  95. Tipo 00 VIC
  96. Tonka VIC
  97. Union Food & Wine VIC
  98. Vincent NSW
  99. Vintners Bar & Grill, Angaston SA
  100. Yoshii NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Harrison Ford and Aaron Paul hates vegans but loves dogs

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

Heirloom Tomato Name Generator

I like building random things because it satisfies my innate need to make lists of synonyms. At the tweeted request of Steve Cumper, here’s a heirloom tomato name generator.

If you were a delicious heirloom tomato variety, your name would be:

Aunty’s Black Russian Sphere

Press reload for a better tasting tomato.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Señor Tulk

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.

2012 Food Trend Generator

Once again, it is the time of the year when food journalists wheel out the world’s worst portmanteau, the listicle, and predict where food trends will head in 2012. For a writer, they’re brilliant content. No editor is going to sack you if Cambodian does not become the new Thai or the world’s predicted hottest restaurant closes. Your audience does not hold you accountable if the hot food destination that you suggest collapses into civil war. So why not let a machine do the work?

Here’s my automatically generated predictions for the hot food trends of 2012. If they come true, you owe me money.

  1. Afghan Microbrewing
  2. Chickens are the new Caviar
  3. Hot Kitchen Tool: The Lariat
  4. New Habit: Foraging Tuesday
  5. Zero-Waste Cosmopolitanism
  6. Food Destination: Cambodia

Press Reload for increasingly accurate 2012 food trends.