Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. 4Fourteen NSW
  3. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  4. Bacash VIC
  5. Berowra Waters Inn NSW
  6. Bib&Tucker WA
  7. Bishop Sessa NSW
  8. Bistro Thierry VIC
  9. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  10. Brae, Birregurra VIC
  11. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  12. Chat Thai NSW
  13. Cinco bistro QLD
  14. Circa VIC
  15. Clareville Kiosk NSW
  16. Coda VIC
  17. Coppa Spuntino QLD
  18. Dandelion VIC
  19. David’s VIC
  20. Duende WA
  21. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  22. Elyros VIC
  23. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  24. Esquire QLD
  25. Ezard VIC
  26. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  27. Flying Fish NSW
  28. Four in Hand NSW
  29. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  30. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  31. Gladioli, Inverleigh VIC
  32. Golden Boy SA
  33. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  34. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  35. Hellenic Republic VIC
  36. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  37. Izakaya Fujiyama NSW
  38. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  39. Kent St Kitchen NSW
  40. Lalla Rookh WA
  41. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  42. Lau’s Family Kitchen VIC
  43. Lilotang QLD
  44. Low Key Chow House WA
  45. LP’s Quality Meats NSW
  46. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  47. Me Wah TAS
  48. Mister Jennings VIC
  49. Montrachet QLD
  50. Moon Under Water VIC
  51. Movida NSW
  52. Ms G’s NSW
  53. Mud Bar & Restaurant, Launceston TAS
  54. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  55. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  56. No 4 Blake Street WA
  57. Noir VIC
  58. Nomad NSW
  59. One Penny Red NSW
  60. Parwana Afghan Kitchen SA
  61. Pastuso VIC
  62. Pei Modern VIC
  63. Pendolino NSW
  64. Pleased to Meet You WA
  65. Popolo NSW
  66. Prego WA
  67. Prix Fixe VIC
  68. Public Dining Room NSW
  69. Pure South VIC
  70. Restaurant Mason, Newcastle NSW
  71. Ristorante Fellini, Main Beach QLD
  72. Rockpool Bar & Grill VIC
  73. Rockwell & Sons VIC
  74. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  75. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  76. Sagra NSW
  77. Sailors Thai NSW
  78. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  79. San Telmo VIC
  80. Sarti VIC
  81. Seoul Food NT
  82. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  83. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  84. St Isidore, Milton NSW
  85. Street ADL SA
  86. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  87. Tani Eat & Drink, Bright VIC
  88. Ten Minutes By Tractor, Main Ridge VIC
  89. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  90. The Bridge Room NSW
  91. The Dispensary Enoteca, Bendigo VIC
  92. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  93. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  94. The Source TAS
  95. The Town Mouse VIC
  96. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  97. Tonka VIC
  98. Town Hall Hotel VIC
  99. Union Dining VIC
  100. Urbane QLD

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why James Franco tried to borrow the Khmer Rouge

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Efecto Bandwagon

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.

2012 Food Trend Generator

Once again, it is the time of the year when food journalists wheel out the world’s worst portmanteau, the listicle, and predict where food trends will head in 2012. For a writer, they’re brilliant content. No editor is going to sack you if Cambodian does not become the new Thai or the world’s predicted hottest restaurant closes. Your audience does not hold you accountable if the hot food destination that you suggest collapses into civil war. So why not let a machine do the work?

Here’s my automatically generated predictions for the hot food trends of 2012. If they come true, you owe me money.

  1. Afghan Gluttony
  2. Clams are the new Cider
  3. Hot Kitchen Tool: The Weather balloon
  4. New Habit: Emetic Thursday
  5. New Nordic Wine
  6. Food Destination: Equatorial Guinea

Press Reload for increasingly accurate 2012 food trends.