Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  3. Aarli Bar, Broome WA
  4. Ajo NSW
  5. Anada VIC
  6. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  7. Aubergine ACT
  8. Bacash VIC
  9. Bang NSW
  10. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  11. Black Bird QLD
  12. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  13. Black Fire ACT
  14. Bread in Common WA
  15. Catbird Seat QLD
  16. Cecconi’s VIC
  17. Chat Thai NSW
  18. Chris’s Beacon Point, Apollo Bay VIC
  19. Cinco bistro QLD
  20. Circa VIC
  21. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  22. Da Noi VIC
  23. Dandelion VIC
  24. Danjee NSW
  25. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  26. eightysix ACT
  27. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  28. Elyros VIC
  29. Est NSW
  30. Ester NSW
  31. Fish Shop NSW
  32. Four in Hand NSW
  33. Gastro Park NSW
  34. Glass Brasserie NSW
  35. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  36. Guillaume NSW
  37. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  38. Hartsyard NSW
  39. Hill of Grace Restaurant SA
  40. Italian&Sons ACT
  41. Jasmin SA
  42. Komeyui VIC
  43. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  44. Lanterne Rooms ACT
  45. Lau’s Family Kitchen VIC
  46. Lee Ho Fook VIC
  47. Lilotang QLD
  48. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  49. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  50. Mister Bianco VIC
  51. Mister Jennings VIC
  52. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  53. Moon Park NSW
  54. Movida VIC
  55. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  56. Ms G’s NSW
  57. Nine Fine Food WA
  58. Noir VIC
  59. Nolita WA
  60. Paringa Estate, Red Hill South VIC
  61. Pei Modern VIC
  62. Pinbone NSW
  63. Pipeclay Pumphouse, Mudgee NSW
  64. Pleased to Meet You WA
  65. Port Phillip Estate VIC
  66. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  67. Punch Lane VIC
  68. Quay NSW
  69. Restaurant Orana SA
  70. Restaurant Two QLD
  71. Rockpool NSW
  72. Rockpool Bar & Grill VIC
  73. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  74. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  75. Rosetta VIC
  76. Sake QLD
  77. Smoque ACT
  78. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  79. Spice Temple NSW
  80. Stokehouse City VIC
  81. Temporada ACT
  82. Terre, Tuerong VIC
  83. Terroir Auburn, Auburn SA
  84. Tetsuya’s NSW
  85. The Atlantic VIC
  86. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  87. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  88. The Bridge Room NSW
  89. The Carlton Wine Room VIC
  90. The Devonshire NSW
  91. The Foraging Quail QLD
  92. The Pot Food & Wine SA
  93. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  94. The Studio Bistro, Yallingup WA
  95. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  96. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  97. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  98. Union Food & Wine VIC
  99. Westend Pump House TAS
  100. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Miley Cyrus shot heroin with a Ford Mustang

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Efecto de la moda

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.