Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. ¿Procedencia? VIC
  2. A.Baker ACT
  3. Aarli Bar, Broome WA
  4. Alpha NSW
  5. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  6. Apothecary 1918 SA
  7. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  8. Beppi’s NSW
  9. Billy Kwong NSW
  10. Bistro Gitan VIC
  11. Bistrode CBD NSW
  12. Black Bird QLD
  13. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  14. Bomba VIC
  15. Cafe Paci NSW
  16. Carrington Place, Carrington NSW
  17. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  18. Chaco Bar NSW
  19. Chin Chin VIC
  20. Cinco bistro QLD
  21. Co-Op Dining WA
  22. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  23. Courgette ACT
  24. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  25. Da Noi VIC
  26. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  27. Ethos Eat Drink TAS
  28. Fish Face NSW
  29. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  30. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  31. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  32. Glass Brasserie NSW
  33. GOMA Restaurant QLD
  34. Guillaume NSW
  35. Hammer & Tong VIC
  36. Hentley Farm, Seppeltsfield SA
  37. Homage, Hiddenvale QLD
  38. Huxtable VIC
  39. Il Bacaro VIC
  40. Innocent Bystander, Healesville VIC
  41. Izakaya Den VIC
  42. Jellyfish QLD
  43. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  44. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  45. Kent St Kitchen NSW
  46. La Bonta, Kyneton VIC
  47. Lake House, Daylesford VIC
  48. Lalla Rookh WA
  49. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  50. Malt Dining QLD
  51. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  52. Moon Park NSW
  53. Movida VIC
  54. Mr Wolf VIC
  55. Mr Wong NSW
  56. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  57. Nobu VIC
  58. Novaro’s,Launceston TAS
  59. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  60. Osteria di Russo & Russo NSW
  61. Paringa Estate, Red Hill South VIC
  62. Pastuso VIC
  63. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  64. Prix Fixe VIC
  65. Pure South VIC
  66. Red Cabbage Food & Wine WA
  67. Restaurant Como, Blaxland NSW
  68. Restaurant Orana SA
  69. Restaurant Two QLD
  70. Rockpool NSW
  71. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  72. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  73. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  74. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  75. Sails, Noosa Heads QLD
  76. Saint Crispin VIC
  77. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  78. Shiki SA
  79. Sixpenny NSW
  80. Smoque ACT
  81. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  82. Supermaxi VIC
  83. Supernormal VIC
  84. Terre, Tuerong VIC
  85. The Blue Swimmer at Seahaven, Gerroa NSW
  86. The Devonshire NSW
  87. The Foraging Quail QLD
  88. The Pot Food & Wine SA
  89. The Press Club VIC
  90. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  91. The Source TAS
  92. The Studio Bistro, Yallingup WA
  93. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  94. Tipo 00 VIC
  95. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  96. Town, Bangalow NSW
  97. Ume NSW
  98. Vini NSW
  99. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Skrillex tried to bang Superman

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

El Señor McConnell

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.