Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 85 Miskin St QLD
  2. A Tavola NSW
  3. Ajo NSW
  4. Akachochin VIC
  5. Aki’s NSW
  6. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  7. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  8. Ashcrofts, Blackheath NSW
  9. Assaggio SA
  10. Belle’s Hot Chicken VIC
  11. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  12. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  13. Bistro Vue VIC
  14. Bistrode CBD NSW
  15. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  16. Bread and Bone Wood Grill SA
  17. Chaco Bar NSW
  18. Chat Thai NSW
  19. Chianti SA
  20. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  21. Cho Cho San NSW
  22. Cinnamon Club SA
  23. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  24. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  25. Da Mario NSW
  26. Dandelion VIC
  27. Du Fermier, Trentham VIC
  28. El Publico WA
  29. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  30. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  31. Est NSW
  32. Ester NSW
  33. Euro QLD
  34. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  35. Fish Shop NSW
  36. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  37. Frogmore Creek Restaurant, Cambridge TAS
  38. Gastro Park NSW
  39. Glass Brasserie NSW
  40. Glebe Point Diner NSW
  41. Habitue WA
  42. Hartsyard NSW
  43. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  44. Hellenic Republic VIC
  45. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  46. Il Bacaro VIC
  47. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  48. Kappo VIC
  49. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  50. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  51. Komeyui VIC
  52. La Bonta, Kyneton VIC
  53. Lalla Rookh WA
  54. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  55. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  56. Maha VIC
  57. Mamasita VIC
  58. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  59. Matteo’s VIC
  60. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  61. Momofuku Seiobo NSW
  62. Montrachet QLD
  63. Mr Wolf VIC
  64. Mr Wong NSW
  65. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  66. Nobu VIC
  67. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  68. Pei Modern VIC
  69. Pilu at Freshwater NSW
  70. Piqueos VIC
  71. Pleased to Meet You WA
  72. Print Hall WA
  73. Public QLD
  74. Red Cabbage Food & Wine WA
  75. Rockpool NSW
  76. Rockpool Bar & Grill VIC
  77. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  78. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  79. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  80. Sean’s Kitchen SA
  81. Smolt TAS
  82. St Isidore, Milton NSW
  83. Stillwater, Launceston TAS
  84. Stokehouse City VIC
  85. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  86. Terre, Tuerong VIC
  87. Tetsuya’s NSW
  88. The Argus Dining Room, Hepburn Springs VIC
  89. The Devonshire NSW
  90. The Elbow Room, McClaren Vale SA
  91. The European VIC
  92. The Foraging Quail QLD
  93. The Press Club VIC
  94. Tipo 00 VIC
  95. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  96. Town, Bangalow NSW
  97. Uccello NSW
  98. Via Alta NSW
  99. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  100. Windy Point SA

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Major Lazer loves plastic bags

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

croissmaca au chocolat

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Oaxacan Grandma

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.