Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. A.Baker ACT
  3. ACME NSW
  4. Alpha NSW
  5. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  6. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  7. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  8. Balla NSW
  9. Bentley Restaurant & Bar NSW
  10. Berardo’s, Noosa QLD
  11. Berowra Waters Inn NSW
  12. Bib&Tucker WA
  13. Bodega NSW
  14. Bread in Common WA
  15. Brooks VIC
  16. Bucci QLD
  17. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  18. Cecconi’s VIC
  19. Char NT
  20. Chianti SA
  21. Chiswick NSW
  22. Clarkes of Northbeach WA
  23. David’s VIC
  24. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  25. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  26. Epocha VIC
  27. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  28. Esquire QLD
  29. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  30. Fuku WA
  31. Gastro Park NSW
  32. Gladioli, Inverleigh VIC
  33. Golden Century NSW
  34. GOMA Restaurant QLD
  35. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  36. Grazing NSW
  37. Hanuman NT
  38. Hartsyard NSW
  39. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  40. Hellenic Republic VIC
  41. Hentley Farm, Seppeltsfield SA
  42. Homage, Hiddenvale QLD
  43. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  44. Jasmin SA
  45. Jonah’s NSW
  46. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  47. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  48. La Bonta, Kyneton VIC
  49. Lake House, Daylesford VIC
  50. Lalla Rookh WA
  51. Leonards Mill, Second Valley SA
  52. Lion Hotel SA
  53. Longrain VIC
  54. Lox Stock & Barrel NSW
  55. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  56. Margan, Broke NSW
  57. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  58. Mister Bianco VIC
  59. Montalto, Red Hill South VIC
  60. Morks ACT
  61. Nine Fine Food WA
  62. No 4 Blake Street WA
  63. Northern Light VIC
  64. O Bar and Dining NSW
  65. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  66. Papi Chulo NSW
  67. Pata Negra WA
  68. Pinbone NSW
  69. Pipers of Penola, Penola SA
  70. Piqueos VIC
  71. Prix Fixe VIC
  72. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  73. Remi De Provence TAS
  74. Restaurant Mason, Newcastle NSW
  75. Restaurant Orana SA
  76. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  77. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  78. Ruby’s Mount Kembla, Kembla Heights NSW
  79. Sailors Thai NSW
  80. Sails, Noosa Heads QLD
  81. Sixpenny NSW
  82. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  83. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  84. South on Albany, Berry NSW
  85. Spice Temple NSW
  86. Spirit House, Yandina QLD
  87. Stokehouse City VIC
  88. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  89. Supermaxi VIC
  90. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  91. The Commoner VIC
  92. The Daniel O’Connell SA
  93. The Foraging Quail QLD
  94. Tipo 00 VIC
  95. Tonka VIC
  96. Urbane QLD
  97. Vini NSW
  98. Woodland House VIC
  99. Yu-u VIC
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How James Franco was jailed in Prague due to this kebab truck

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

croisscrobread

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Y tu Northcote tambien

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.