Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.


Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. A.Baker ACT
  2. Abla’s VIC
  3. Anada VIC
  4. Balla NSW
  5. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  6. Bistro Guillaume WA
  7. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  8. Black Cow Bistro, Launceston TAS
  9. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  10. Bloodwood NSW
  11. Bodega NSW
  12. Bucci QLD
  13. Cafe Paci NSW
  14. Cantina 663 WA
  15. Capitol Bar & Grill ACT
  16. Centonove VIC
  17. China Doll NSW
  18. Circa VIC
  19. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  20. Cullens Wines Restaurant, Wilyabrup WA
  21. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  22. Danjee NSW
  23. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  24. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  25. Epocha VIC
  26. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  27. Esquire QLD
  28. Euro QLD
  29. Fish Face NSW
  30. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  31. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  32. Garagistes TAS
  33. Gazi VIC
  34. Golden Boy SA
  35. GOMA Restaurant QLD
  36. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  37. Grazing NSW
  38. Hammer & Tong VIC
  39. Hanuman NT
  40. Hartsyard NSW
  41. Hellenic Republic VIC
  42. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  43. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  44. Jonah’s NSW
  45. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  46. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  47. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  48. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  49. Leonards Mill, Second Valley SA
  50. Lilotang QLD
  51. Lotus Eaters, Cygnet TAS
  52. LP’s Quality Meats NSW
  53. Lucio’s NSW
  54. Malt Dining QLD
  55. Mamasita VIC
  56. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  57. Montrachet QLD
  58. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  59. No. 8 by John Lawson VIC
  60. Nobu Perth WA
  61. Nolita WA
  62. Northern Git VIC
  63. Novaro’s,Launceston TAS
  64. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  65. Ocha VIC
  66. One Penny Red NSW
  67. Ottoman Cuisine ACT
  68. Pastuso VIC
  69. Peel St SA
  70. Pleased to Meet You WA
  71. Popolo NSW
  72. Prego WA
  73. Punch Lane VIC
  74. Remi De Provence TAS
  75. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  76. Restaurant Amuse WA
  77. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  78. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  79. Rosetta VIC
  80. Seoul Food NT
  81. Shiki SA
  82. Shira Nui VIC
  83. Sokyo NSW
  84. Street ADL SA
  85. Supermaxi VIC
  86. Sushi E NSW
  87. Tempura Hajime VIC
  88. Terroir Auburn, Auburn SA
  89. The Apollo NSW
  90. The Artisan ACT
  91. The Devonshire NSW
  92. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  93. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  94. The Source TAS
  95. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  96. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  97. Valentino VIC
  98. Vini NSW
  99. Windy Point SA
  100. Woodland House VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How this ex-Khmer Rouge general hates polka music

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

croquembaconnutz

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Oaxacan Grandma

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.