Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  2. 4Fourteen NSW
  3. 85 Miskin St QLD
  5. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  6. ARIA Restaurant NSW
  7. Ashcrofts, Blackheath NSW
  8. Belle’s Hot Chicken VIC
  9. Bentley Restaurant & Bar NSW
  10. Berowra Waters Inn NSW
  11. Bib&Tucker WA
  12. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  13. Bistro Gitan VIC
  14. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  15. Bodega NSW
  16. Cafe Paci NSW
  17. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  18. Carrington Place, Carrington NSW
  19. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  20. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  21. Centonove VIC
  22. Char NT
  23. China Doll NSW
  24. Co-Op Dining WA
  25. Coppa Spuntino QLD
  26. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  27. Courgette ACT
  28. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  29. Divido WA
  30. Ecco QLD
  31. El Publico WA
  32. Est NSW
  33. Estelle VIC
  34. Ethos Eat Drink TAS
  35. Flower Drum VIC
  36. France-Soir VIC
  37. Garagistes TAS
  38. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  39. Georges on Waymouth SA
  40. Habitue WA
  41. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  42. Huxtable VIC
  43. Izakaya Fujiyama NSW
  44. Jasmin SA
  45. Jonah’s NSW
  46. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  47. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  48. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  49. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  50. Lox Stock & Barrel NSW
  51. Lucio’s NSW
  52. LuMi NSW
  53. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  54. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  55. Maha VIC
  56. Mamasita VIC
  57. Matteo’s VIC
  58. Me Wah TAS
  59. Minamishima VIC
  60. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  61. Moon Park NSW
  62. Mr Wolf VIC
  63. O Bar and Dining NSW
  64. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  65. Papi Chulo NSW
  66. Paringa Estate, Red Hill South VIC
  67. Parwana Afghan Kitchen SA
  68. Pei Modern NSW
  69. Pendolino NSW
  70. Petite Mort WA
  71. Porteno NSW
  72. Quay NSW
  73. Restaurant Mason, Newcastle NSW
  74. Restaurant Orana SA
  75. Restaurant Two QLD
  76. Ristorante Fellini, Main Beach QLD
  77. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  78. Sagra NSW
  79. Sake NSW
  80. Sake QLD
  81. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  82. Seoul Food NT
  83. Shira Nui VIC
  84. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  85. Smolt TAS
  86. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  87. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  88. The Foraging Quail QLD
  89. The Point VIC
  90. The Studio Bistro, Yallingup WA
  91. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  92. The Terrace Restaurant, Wahgunyah VIC
  93. The Town Mouse VIC
  94. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  95. Ume NSW
  96. Valentino VIC
  97. Varnish on King WA
  98. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  99. Yots Greek Taverna NT
  100. Yu-u VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How Fatboy Slim refuses to be photographed with heroin

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Subirse el carros

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.