Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 4Fourteen NSW
  2. ACME NSW
  3. Africola SA
  4. Ajo NSW
  5. Aki’s NSW
  6. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  7. Apothecary 1918 SA
  8. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  9. Aubergine ACT
  10. Balla NSW
  11. Bang NSW
  12. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  13. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  14. Black Cow Bistro, Launceston TAS
  15. Bloodwood NSW
  16. Bread and Bone Wood Grill SA
  17. Bucci QLD
  18. Byron Beach Cafe, Byron Bay NSW
  19. Cafe Nice NSW
  20. Cantina 663 WA
  21. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  22. Cecconi’s VIC
  23. Char NT
  24. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  25. Cho Cho San NSW
  26. Cicciolina VIC
  27. Cinco bistro QLD
  28. Circa VIC
  29. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  30. Coppa Spuntino QLD
  31. Cumulus Inc VIC
  32. Dandelion VIC
  33. Epocha VIC
  34. Est NSW
  35. Fino, Willunga SA
  36. Four in Hand NSW
  37. France-Soir VIC
  38. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  39. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  40. Gastro Park NSW
  41. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  42. Golden Century NSW
  43. Hanuman NT
  44. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  45. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  46. Hill of Grace Restaurant SA
  47. Homage, Hiddenvale QLD
  48. Huxtable VIC
  49. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  50. Innocent Bystander, Healesville VIC
  51. Jasmin SA
  52. Jonah’s NSW
  53. Knee Deep, Wilyabrup WA
  54. Komeyui VIC
  55. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  56. Lanterne Rooms ACT
  57. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  58. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  59. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  60. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  61. Montalto, Red Hill South VIC
  62. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  63. Northern Light VIC
  64. Osteria Balla NSW
  65. Pastuso VIC
  66. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  67. Pendolino NSW
  68. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  69. Public Inn, Castlemaine VIC
  70. Racine, Orange NSW
  71. Restaurant Como, Blaxland NSW
  72. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  73. Rockpool Bar & Grill VIC
  74. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  75. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  76. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  77. Sagra NSW
  78. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  79. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  80. Sarti VIC
  81. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  82. Sean’s Kitchen SA
  83. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  84. Seoul Food NT
  85. Sepia NSW
  86. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  87. Sixpenny NSW
  88. Sokyo NSW
  89. Spice Temple NSW
  90. Spirit House, Yandina QLD
  91. Street ADL SA
  92. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  93. Supermaxi VIC
  94. Ten Minutes By Tractor, Main Ridge VIC
  95. Three Japanese TAS
  96. Tipo 00 VIC
  97. Varnish on King WA
  98. Voyager Estate Winery Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  99. Vue de Monde VIC
  100. Yellow NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Richard Nixon was sued by an episode of Girls

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

doppelnutz

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

El Señor McConnell

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.