Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 10 William St NSW
  2. Africola SA
  3. Aki’s NSW
  4. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  5. Aubergine ACT
  6. Bacash VIC
  7. Bellota VIC
  8. Beppi’s NSW
  9. Berardo’s, Noosa QLD
  10. Bistro Guillaume VIC
  11. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  12. Bistro Thierry VIC
  13. Bomba VIC
  14. Brae, Birregurra VIC
  15. Brooks VIC
  16. Byron Beach Cafe, Byron Bay NSW
  17. Cafe Paci NSW
  18. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  19. Capitol Bar & Grill ACT
  20. Cecconi’s VIC
  21. Chat Thai NSW
  22. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  23. China Lane NSW
  24. Clareville Kiosk NSW
  25. Cookie VIC
  26. Da Mario NSW
  27. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  28. Danjee NSW
  29. Divido WA
  30. Donovans VIC
  31. Easy Tiger VIC
  32. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  33. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  34. Fish Shop NSW
  35. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  36. Flower Drum VIC
  37. Franklin TAS
  38. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  39. Fuku WA
  40. Gastro Park NSW
  41. Grossi Florentino VIC
  42. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  43. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  44. Izakaya Fujiyama NSW
  45. Jellyfish QLD
  46. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  47. Jonah’s NSW
  48. Kappo VIC
  49. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  50. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  51. Lau’s Family Kitchen VIC
  52. Lebrina TAS
  53. Low Key Chow House WA
  54. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  55. Luxembourg VIC
  56. Mamasita VIC
  57. Margan, Broke NSW
  58. Matteo’s VIC
  59. Me Wah TAS
  60. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  61. Nine Fine Food WA
  62. Osteria di Russo & Russo NSW
  63. Ottoman Cuisine ACT
  64. Pei Modern VIC
  65. Pei Modern NSW
  66. Pipers of Penola, Penola SA
  67. Pleased to Meet You WA
  68. Public QLD
  69. Restaurant Amuse WA
  70. Ristorante Fellini, Main Beach QLD
  71. Rockpool NSW
  72. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  73. Rocksalt, Broadbeach QLD
  74. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  75. Ruby’s Mount Kembla, Kembla Heights NSW
  76. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  77. San Telmo VIC
  78. Sarti VIC
  79. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  80. Shankers Authentic Indian Cuisine SA
  81. Silks WA
  82. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  83. Simone’s, Bright VIC
  84. St Michael WA
  85. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  86. Tani Eat & Drink, Bright VIC
  87. Temporada ACT
  88. Terre, Tuerong VIC
  89. Terroir Auburn, Auburn SA
  90. Tetsuya’s NSW
  91. The Argus Dining Room, Hepburn Springs VIC
  92. The Artisan ACT
  93. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  94. The Graham VIC
  95. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  96. The Press Club VIC
  97. The Tamarind, Maleny QLD
  98. The Town Mouse VIC
  99. Urbane QLD
  100. Yoshii NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How Elastica signed a recording contract with a shoebox full of Polaroids

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Jorge Colombaris

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.