Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. ┬┐Procedencia? VIC
  2. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  3. Ace Pizza WA
  4. Ajo NSW
  5. Albert St Food & Wine VIC
  6. Anada VIC
  7. Aubergine ACT
  8. Bang NSW
  9. Bellota VIC
  10. Beppi’s NSW
  11. Bib&Tucker WA
  12. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  13. Bistro Gitan VIC
  14. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  15. Black Fire ACT
  16. Bodega NSW
  17. Cecconi’s VIC
  18. Centonove VIC
  19. Chat Thai NSW
  20. China Doll NSW
  21. Circa VIC
  22. Co-Op Dining WA
  23. Coda VIC
  24. Cookie VIC
  25. Da Noi VIC
  26. David’s VIC
  27. Duende WA
  28. Ecco QLD
  29. Flying Fish NSW
  30. Fratelli Paradiso NSW
  31. Fuku WA
  32. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  33. Georges on Waymouth SA
  34. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  35. Grazing NSW
  36. Green Park VIC
  37. Hammer & Tong VIC
  38. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  39. Il Bacaro VIC
  40. Il Centro QLD
  41. Innocent Bystander, Healesville VIC
  42. Jasmin SA
  43. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  44. Lau’s Family Kitchen VIC
  45. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  46. Lilotang ACT
  47. Lion Hotel SA
  48. Long Apron, Mountville QLD
  49. Longrain VIC
  50. Lotus Eaters, Cygnet TAS
  51. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  52. LuMi NSW
  53. Mamasita VIC
  54. Margan, Broke NSW
  55. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  56. Mezzalira ACT
  57. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  58. Minamishima VIC
  59. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  60. Montalto, Red Hill South VIC
  61. Morks ACT
  62. Mr Wolf VIC
  63. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  64. Ms G’s NSW
  65. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  66. Noir VIC
  67. Northern Light VIC
  68. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  69. Ocha VIC
  70. Pata Negra WA
  71. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  72. Piqueos VIC
  73. Pleased to Meet You WA
  74. Porteno NSW
  75. Prive 249 QLD
  76. Pure South VIC
  77. Racine, Orange NSW
  78. Red Lantern on Riley NSW
  79. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  80. Sagra NSW
  81. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  82. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  83. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  84. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  85. Sepia NSW
  86. Shiki SA
  87. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  88. Street ADL SA
  89. Sushi E NSW
  90. The Argus Dining Room, Hepburn Springs VIC
  91. The Atlantic VIC
  92. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  93. The Daniel O’Connell SA
  94. The Gala Restaurant WA
  95. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  96. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  97. Ume NSW
  98. Via Alta NSW
  99. Voyager Estate Winery Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Jonah Hill and Leonardo di Caprio signed a recording contract with Dulles airport

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

gulabcuper

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Tlaxcalteca Axolotl

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.