Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 2KW Bar and Restaurant SA
  2. A La Grecque, Aireys Inlet VIC
  3. Abla’s VIC
  4. Aki’s NSW
  5. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  6. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  7. Ashcrofts, Blackheath NSW
  8. Attica VIC
  9. Bib&Tucker WA
  10. Bistro Felix WA
  11. Bloodwood NSW
  12. Bodega NSW
  13. Cafe Nice NSW
  14. Cafe Paci NSW
  15. Clarkes of Northbeach WA
  16. Co-Op Dining WA
  17. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  18. Cumulus Inc VIC
  19. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  20. Cutler & Co VIC
  21. Dandelion VIC
  22. Danjee NSW
  23. David’s VIC
  24. Du Fermier, Trentham VIC
  25. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  26. Esquire QLD
  27. Ethos Eat Drink TAS
  28. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  29. Frogmore Creek Restaurant, Cambridge TAS
  30. Fuku WA
  31. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  32. Gerard’s Bistro QLD
  33. Gingerboy VIC
  34. Glass Brasserie NSW
  35. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  36. Grazing NSW
  37. Green Park VIC
  38. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  39. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  40. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  41. Il Bacaro VIC
  42. Innocent Bystander, Healesville VIC
  43. Jellyfish QLD
  44. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  45. Kenji Modern Japanese SA
  46. La Bonta, Kyneton VIC
  47. Lebrina TAS
  48. Longrain VIC
  49. Malamay ACT
  50. Market Street Cafe, Mudgee NSW
  51. Marque NSW
  52. Matilda Bay Restaurant WA
  53. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  54. Mister Bianco VIC
  55. Momofuku Seiobo NSW
  56. Moon Under Water VIC
  57. Movida Aqui VIC
  58. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  59. Ms G’s NSW
  60. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  61. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  62. No 4 Blake Street WA
  63. Northern Light VIC
  64. Nu Nu, Palm Grove QLD
  65. O Bar and Dining NSW
  66. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  67. Ocha VIC
  68. Osteria at Stefano Lubiana Winery, Granton TAS
  69. Papi Chulo NSW
  70. Paringa Estate, Red Hill South VIC
  71. Pipers of Penola, Penola SA
  72. Pleased to Meet You WA
  73. Popolo NSW
  74. Porteno NSW
  75. Press Food & Wine SA
  76. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  77. Punch Lane VIC
  78. Restaurant Amuse WA
  79. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  80. Ristorante Fellini, Main Beach QLD
  81. Sake NSW
  82. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  83. Shira Nui VIC
  84. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  85. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  86. Smolt TAS
  87. Spirit House, Yandina QLD
  88. St Michael WA
  89. Tani Eat & Drink, Bright VIC
  90. The Apollo NSW
  91. The Blue Swimmer at Seahaven, Gerroa NSW
  92. The Point VIC
  93. The Pot Food & Wine SA
  94. Tipo 00 VIC
  95. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  96. Ume NSW
  97. Valentino VIC
  98. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  99. Yellow NSW
  100. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why this city mayor cooked pancakes for a stuffed fox

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

macroklava

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Oaxacan Grandma

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.