Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. Ace Pizza WA
  3. Africola SA
  4. Akachochin VIC
  5. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  6. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  7. ARIA Restaurant NSW
  8. Ashcrofts, Blackheath NSW
  9. Bacash VIC
  10. Bar H Dining NSW
  11. Bistro Gitan VIC
  12. Bistrode CBD NSW
  13. Black Fire ACT
  14. Black Hide Steakhouse QLD
  15. Brooks VIC
  16. Buon Ricordo NSW
  17. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  18. Chaco Bar NSW
  19. Chianti SA
  20. Cicciolina VIC
  21. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  22. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  23. Da Noi VIC
  24. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  25. Divido WA
  26. Epocha VIC
  27. Esca Bimbadgen, Pokolbin NSW
  28. Felix NSW
  29. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  30. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  31. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  32. From Orient SA
  33. Gastro Park NSW
  34. Glass Brasserie NSW
  35. Gordita QLD
  36. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  37. Green Park VIC
  38. Grossi Florentino VIC
  39. Hare & Grace VIC
  40. Hellenika, Nobby Beach QLD
  41. Hill of Grace Restaurant SA
  42. Il Centro QLD
  43. Innocent Bystander, Healesville VIC
  44. Izakaya Den VIC
  45. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  46. Lalla Rookh WA
  47. Lilotang QLD
  48. Long Apron, Mountville QLD
  49. Longrain VIC
  50. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  51. Luxembourg VIC
  52. Madame Hanoi SA
  53. Malamay ACT
  54. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  55. Matteo’s VIC
  56. Mezzalira ACT
  57. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  58. Minamishima VIC
  59. Mister Jennings VIC
  60. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  61. Moon Park NSW
  62. Movida VIC
  63. Ms G’s NSW
  64. Mud Bar & Restaurant, Launceston TAS
  65. Nobu VIC
  66. Northern Git VIC
  67. Ormeggio at the Spit NSW
  68. Papi Chulo NSW
  69. Petite Mort WA
  70. Pinbone NSW
  71. Piqueos VIC
  72. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  73. Rockpool Bar & Grill VIC
  74. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  75. Ruby Red Flamingo SA
  76. Silks WA
  77. Smolt TAS
  78. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  79. South on Albany, Berry NSW
  80. Spirit House, Yandina QLD
  81. St Michael WA
  82. Stillwater, Launceston TAS
  83. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  84. Tartufo QLD
  85. Tempura Hajime VIC
  86. The Artisan ACT
  87. The Atlantic VIC
  88. The Blue Swimmer at Seahaven, Gerroa NSW
  89. The Daniel O’Connell SA
  90. The European VIC
  91. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  92. The Point VIC
  93. The Press Club VIC
  94. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  95. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  96. Union Food & Wine VIC
  97. Urbane QLD
  98. Westend Pump House TAS
  99. Yu-u VIC
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why the Thai army once opened for Lady Gaga

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Y tu Northcote tambien

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.