Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. A.Baker ACT
  2. Ajo NSW
  3. Akachochin VIC
  4. Akiba ACT
  5. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  6. Apothecary 1918 SA
  7. Bang NSW
  8. Berardo’s, Noosa QLD
  9. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  10. Bishop Sessa NSW
  11. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  12. Bistro Guillaume VIC
  13. Bistrode CBD NSW
  14. Black Cow Bistro, Launceston TAS
  15. Bodega NSW
  16. Brae, Birregurra VIC
  17. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  18. Cafe Paci NSW
  19. Carrington Place, Carrington NSW
  20. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  21. Catalina NSW
  22. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  23. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  24. China Lane NSW
  25. Cho Cho San NSW
  26. Chris’s Beacon Point, Apollo Bay VIC
  27. Circa VIC
  28. Clareville Kiosk NSW
  29. Danjee NSW
  30. Divido WA
  31. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  32. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  33. Fino, Willunga SA
  34. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  35. Fish House, Burleigh Heads QLD
  36. Flooded Gums, Bonville NSW
  37. Flower Drum VIC
  38. Georges on Waymouth SA
  39. Gingerboy VIC
  40. Glebe Point Diner NSW
  41. Green Park VIC
  42. Hare & Grace VIC
  43. Hellenic Republic VIC
  44. Hellenika, Nobby Beach QLD
  45. Il Bacaro VIC
  46. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  47. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  48. Knee Deep, Wilyabrup WA
  49. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  50. Lanterne Rooms ACT
  51. Lau’s Family Kitchen VIC
  52. Lee Ho Fook VIC
  53. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  54. Little NNQ SA
  55. Longrain VIC
  56. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  57. Malamay ACT
  58. Matilda Bay Restaurant WA
  59. Merricote VIC
  60. Monopole NSW
  61. Movida NSW
  62. Movida Aqui VIC
  63. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  64. Nobu Perth WA
  65. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  66. Pilu at Freshwater NSW
  67. Piqueos VIC
  68. Pleased to Meet You WA
  69. Pope Joan VIC
  70. Print Hall WA
  71. Prix Fixe VIC
  72. Punch Lane VIC
  73. Quay NSW
  74. Red Cabbage Food & Wine WA
  75. Remi De Provence TAS
  76. Restaurant Amuse WA
  77. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  78. Rosetta VIC
  79. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  80. Sezar VIC
  81. Shankers Authentic Indian Cuisine SA
  82. Shiki SA
  83. Silks WA
  84. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  85. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  86. Spice Temple VIC
  87. Spice Temple NSW
  88. Sushi E NSW
  89. Ten Minutes By Tractor, Main Ridge VIC
  90. The Grand VIC
  91. The Mayflower Restaurant SA
  92. The Source TAS
  93. The Studio Bistro, Yallingup WA
  94. The Town Mouse VIC
  95. Tonka VIC
  96. Union Dining VIC
  97. Varnish on King WA
  98. Voyager Estate Winery Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  99. Westend Pump House TAS
  100. Zanzibar cafe, Merimbula NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Basement Jaxx tried to bury Niagara Falls

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

croisspretzfeuille

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Malatestitas

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.