Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. 4Fourteen NSW
  3. Abla’s VIC
  4. Apothecary 1918 SA
  5. ARIA Restaurant NSW
  6. Balla NSW
  7. Bentley Restaurant & Bar NSW
  8. Beppi’s NSW
  9. Bib&Tucker WA
  10. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  11. Bistro Gitan VIC
  12. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  13. Bistro Thierry VIC
  14. Bistro Vue VIC
  15. Black Bird QLD
  16. Bodega NSW
  17. Bomba VIC
  18. Carrington Place, Carrington NSW
  19. Catbird Seat QLD
  20. Centonove VIC
  21. Cinnamon Club SA
  22. Circa VIC
  23. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  24. Divido WA
  25. Du Fermier, Trentham VIC
  26. El Publico WA
  27. Ester NSW
  28. Euro QLD
  29. Ezard VIC
  30. FermentAsian, Tanunda SA
  31. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  32. Fish Face NSW
  33. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  34. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  35. Georges on Waymouth SA
  36. Glass Brasserie NSW
  37. Golden Century NSW
  38. Hammer & Tong VIC
  39. Italian&Sons ACT
  40. Jonah’s NSW
  41. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  42. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  43. Komeyui VIC
  44. Leonards Mill, Second Valley SA
  45. Lion Hotel SA
  46. Little NNQ SA
  47. Luxembourg VIC
  48. Madame Hanoi SA
  49. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  50. Me Wah TAS
  51. Merchant Osteria Veneta VIC
  52. Mezzalira ACT
  53. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  54. Mister Bianco VIC
  55. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  56. Momofuku Seiobo NSW
  57. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  58. Mr Wong NSW
  59. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  60. Ms G’s NSW
  61. Nine Fine Food WA
  62. Nolita WA
  63. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  64. Pee Wee’s at the Point NT
  65. Piqueos VIC
  66. Pleased to Meet You WA
  67. Porteno NSW
  68. Prego WA
  69. Press Food & Wine SA
  70. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  71. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  72. Pure South VIC
  73. Red Cabbage Food & Wine WA
  74. Restaurant Como, Blaxland NSW
  75. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  76. Rockwell & Sons VIC
  77. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  78. Ruby Red Flamingo SA
  79. Rumi VIC
  80. Sake QLD
  81. Seoul Food NT
  82. Shiki SA
  83. Shira Nui VIC
  84. Street ADL SA
  85. Tartufo QLD
  86. The Atlantic VIC
  87. The Bridge Room NSW
  88. The Foraging Quail QLD
  89. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  90. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  91. The Pot Food & Wine SA
  92. The Press Club VIC
  93. The Source TAS
  94. The Studio Bistro, Yallingup WA
  95. Town Hall Hotel VIC
  96. Uccello NSW
  97. Union Dining VIC
  98. Vini NSW
  99. Vue de Monde VIC
  100. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why the Duke of Edinburgh was shocked to see broccolini

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

cupslice

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Oaxacan Grandma

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.