Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 10 William St NSW
  2. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  3. A La Grecque, Aireys Inlet VIC
  4. Akachochin VIC
  5. Albert St Food & Wine VIC
  6. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  7. Assaggio SA
  8. Aubergine ACT
  9. Bacash VIC
  10. Bentley Restaurant & Bar NSW
  11. Berowra Waters Inn NSW
  12. Biota Dining, Bowral NSW
  13. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  14. Bistro Dom SA
  15. Bistro Felix WA
  16. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  17. Black Cow Bistro, Launceston TAS
  18. Brae, Birregurra VIC
  19. Buon Ricordo NSW
  20. Byron Beach Cafe, Byron Bay NSW
  21. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  22. Caveau, Wollongong NSW
  23. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  24. Chaco Bar NSW
  25. Char NT
  26. Chris’s Beacon Point, Apollo Bay VIC
  27. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  28. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  29. Cutler & Co VIC
  30. Da Orazio NSW
  31. Divido WA
  32. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  33. Easy Tiger VIC
  34. Ethos Eat Drink TAS
  35. Fish Face NSW
  36. Franklin TAS
  37. Frogmore Creek Restaurant, Cambridge TAS
  38. From Orient SA
  39. Gastro Park NSW
  40. Glass Brasserie NSW
  41. Huxtable VIC
  42. Jasmin SA
  43. Jellyfish QLD
  44. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  45. Jonah’s NSW
  46. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  47. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  48. Knee Deep, Wilyabrup WA
  49. Lalla Rookh WA
  50. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  51. Lilotang QLD
  52. Lion Hotel SA
  53. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  54. Lotus Eaters, Cygnet TAS
  55. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  56. Malt Dining QLD
  57. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  58. Margan, Broke NSW
  59. Me Wah TAS
  60. Merricote VIC
  61. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  62. Moon Park NSW
  63. No 4 Blake Street WA
  64. Nobu VIC
  65. Osteria Balla NSW
  66. Ottoman Cuisine ACT
  67. Parwana Afghan Kitchen SA
  68. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  69. Pee Wee’s at the Point NT
  70. Pei Modern VIC
  71. Pinbone NSW
  72. Piqueos VIC
  73. Port Phillip Estate VIC
  74. Pure South VIC
  75. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  76. Rockwell & Sons VIC
  77. Sagra NSW
  78. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  79. Sayers Sister WA
  80. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  81. Sepia NSW
  82. Shira Nui VIC
  83. Silks WA
  84. Simone’s, Bright VIC
  85. Sixpenny NSW
  86. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  87. St Isidore, Milton NSW
  88. Stokehouse City VIC
  89. Supermaxi VIC
  90. Supernormal VIC
  91. The Blue Swimmer at Seahaven, Gerroa NSW
  92. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  93. The Tasting Room at Mayura Station, Millicent SA
  94. Town Hall Hotel VIC
  95. Valentino VIC
  96. Vini NSW
  97. Vintners Bar & Grill, Angaston SA
  98. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC
  99. Yoshii NSW
  100. Yots Greek Taverna NT

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why The Mars Volta once opened for vultures

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Hermano Baba Budan

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.