Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.


Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. A La Grecque, Aireys Inlet VIC
  3. Ace Pizza WA
  4. Anada VIC
  5. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  6. Apple Daily Bar and Eating House WA
  7. Ashcrofts, Blackheath NSW
  8. Aubergine ACT
  9. Balla NSW
  10. Beppi’s NSW
  11. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  12. Bistro Thierry VIC
  13. Bodega NSW
  14. Bread in Common WA
  15. Bucci QLD
  16. Buon Ricordo NSW
  17. Cafe Paci NSW
  18. Cafe Sopra NSW
  19. Cecconi’s VIC
  20. Celsius Restaurant & Bar SA
  21. Char NT
  22. Chianti SA
  23. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  24. Cho Cho San NSW
  25. Cinco bistro QLD
  26. Clarkes of Northbeach WA
  27. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  28. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  29. Cullens Wines Restaurant, Wilyabrup WA
  30. Dainty Sichuan VIC
  31. Divido WA
  32. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  33. Epocha VIC
  34. Esquire QLD
  35. Fino, Willunga SA
  36. Glass Brasserie NSW
  37. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  38. Grazing NSW
  39. Green Park VIC
  40. Habitue WA
  41. Hammer & Tong VIC
  42. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  43. Hill of Grace Restaurant SA
  44. Homage, Hiddenvale QLD
  45. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  46. Kappo VIC
  47. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  48. Lee Ho Fook VIC
  49. Les Bistronomes ACT
  50. Long Apron, Mountville QLD
  51. Low Key Chow House WA
  52. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  53. Margan, Broke NSW
  54. Matilda Bay Restaurant WA
  55. Me Wah TAS
  56. Mercato, Daylesford VIC
  57. Mezzalira ACT
  58. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  59. Minamishima VIC
  60. Mister Jennings VIC
  61. Montalto, Red Hill South VIC
  62. Montrachet QLD
  63. Nine Fine Food WA
  64. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  65. One Penny Red NSW
  66. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  67. Pata Negra WA
  68. Patricia’s Table, Milawa VIC
  69. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  70. Pilu at Freshwater NSW
  71. Piqueos VIC
  72. Pleased to Meet You WA
  73. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  74. Port Phillip Estate VIC
  75. Prego WA
  76. Quay NSW
  77. Remi De Provence TAS
  78. Restaurant Mason, Newcastle NSW
  79. Restaurant Two QLD
  80. Rockpool NSW
  81. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  82. Rockpool Bar & Grill WA
  83. Ruby Red Flamingo SA
  84. Sailors Thai NSW
  85. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  86. Smoque ACT
  87. Spice Temple VIC
  88. Supernormal VIC
  89. Temporada ACT
  90. The Atlantic VIC
  91. The Graham VIC
  92. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  93. The Pot Food & Wine SA
  94. The Press Club VIC
  95. The Source TAS
  96. Three Japanese TAS
  97. Tipo 00 VIC
  98. Tulip, Geelong VIC
  99. Voyager Estate Winery Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  100. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why the working poor looks up to James Cameron

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

cupnutz

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Bajacaliforniano Uncle

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.