Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. Aarli Bar, Broome WA
  2. Ace Pizza WA
  3. Africola SA
  4. Ajo NSW
  5. Akachochin VIC
  6. Aki’s NSW
  7. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  8. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  9. Attica VIC
  10. Aubergine ACT
  11. Bacash VIC
  12. Beppi’s NSW
  13. Bistro Thierry VIC
  14. Bistro Vue VIC
  15. Black Bird QLD
  16. Bread and Bone Wood Grill SA
  17. Cafe Paci NSW
  18. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  19. Capitol Bar & Grill ACT
  20. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  21. Caveau, Wollongong NSW
  22. Centonove VIC
  23. Char NT
  24. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  25. China Doll NSW
  26. Cicciolina VIC
  27. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  28. Coppa Spuntino QLD
  29. Cottage Point Inn NSW
  30. Courgette ACT
  31. Cullens Wines Restaurant, Wilyabrup WA
  32. Cumulus Inc VIC
  33. Da Mario NSW
  34. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  35. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  36. Elyros VIC
  37. Estelle VIC
  38. Euro QLD
  39. Ezard VIC
  40. FermentAsian, Tanunda SA
  41. Fins, South Kingscliff NSW
  42. Fish Shop NSW
  43. France-Soir VIC
  44. Georges on Waymouth SA
  45. Gingerboy VIC
  46. Gladioli, Inverleigh VIC
  47. Habitue WA
  48. Harrisons, Port Douglas QLD
  49. Hentley Farm, Seppeltsfield SA
  50. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  51. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  52. Kitchen by Mike NSW
  53. La Bonta, Kyneton VIC
  54. Lebrina TAS
  55. Les Bistronomes ACT
  56. Lilotang ACT
  57. Little NNQ SA
  58. Lolli Redini, Orange NSW
  59. Longrain VIC
  60. Longrain NSW
  61. Luxembourg VIC
  62. Malt Dining QLD
  63. Merricote VIC
  64. Mister Bianco VIC
  65. Morks ACT
  66. Movida VIC
  67. Mr Wolf VIC
  68. Noir VIC
  69. Nomad NSW
  70. Northern Git VIC
  71. O My, Beaconsfield VIC
  72. Ocha VIC
  73. Pata Negra WA
  74. Pei Modern VIC
  75. Pendolino NSW
  76. Prego WA
  77. Print Hall WA
  78. Public QLD
  79. Pure South VIC
  80. Quay NSW
  81. Racine, Orange NSW
  82. Remi De Provence TAS
  83. Ricky’s River Bar and Restaurant, Noosa Heads QLD
  84. Rockwell & Sons VIC
  85. Ruby’s Mount Kembla, Kembla Heights NSW
  86. Seoul Food NT
  87. Shira Nui VIC
  88. Silo Bakery and Cafe ACT
  89. Sixpenny NSW
  90. Smolt TAS
  91. Sokyo NSW
  92. St Michael WA
  93. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  94. The Carlton Wine Room VIC
  95. The Gala Restaurant WA
  96. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  97. Westend Pump House TAS
  98. Yellow NSW
  99. Yoshii NSW
  100. Yots Greek Taverna NT

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

How Robin Thicke burnt down the crack house of this mankini

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

My Oaxacan Grandma

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.