Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. 121BC NSW
  2. 1889 Enoteca QLD
  3. A Tavola NSW
  4. ACME NSW
  5. Aki’s NSW
  6. Alpha NSW
  7. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  8. Assaggio SA
  9. Bang NSW
  10. Belle’s Hot Chicken VIC
  11. Bellota VIC
  12. Bib&Tucker WA
  13. Billy Kwong NSW
  14. Bistro at Banks, Marcus Hill VIC
  15. Bread in Common WA
  16. Bridgewater Mill, Bridgewater SA
  17. Buon Ricordo NSW
  18. Cafe Nice NSW
  19. Catfish, Ballarat VIC
  20. Char NT
  21. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  22. China Lane NSW
  23. Chiswick NSW
  24. Circa VIC
  25. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  26. Coast, Hervey Bay QLD
  27. Courgette ACT
  28. Da Noi VIC
  29. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  30. Donovans VIC
  31. eightysix ACT
  32. Esquire QLD
  33. Fish Face NSW
  34. Flower Drum VIC
  35. Fuku WA
  36. Gazi VIC
  37. Gladioli, Inverleigh VIC
  38. Golden Century NSW
  39. Gowings Bar & Grill NSW
  40. Habitue WA
  41. Hare & Grace VIC
  42. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  43. Huxtable VIC
  44. Icebergs Dining Room & Bar NSW
  45. Il Bacaro VIC
  46. Innocent Bystander, Healesville VIC
  47. Italian&Sons ACT
  48. Jim McDougall in Stefano’s Cellar, Mildura VIC
  49. Jolleys Boathouse Restaurant SA
  50. Josef Chromy Wines Cellar Door Restaurant, Relbia TAS
  51. Kent St Kitchen NSW
  52. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  53. Lake House, Daylesford VIC
  54. Lanterne Rooms ACT
  55. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  56. Lebrina TAS
  57. Leonards Mill, Second Valley SA
  58. Little NNQ SA
  59. Lutece Bistro & Wine Bar QLD
  60. Madame Hanoi SA
  61. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  62. Malt Dining QLD
  63. Marque NSW
  64. Matteo’s VIC
  65. Merricote VIC
  66. Mister Bianco VIC
  67. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  68. Nomad NSW
  69. Nu Nu, Palm Grove QLD
  70. Papi Chulo NSW
  71. Parwana Afghan Kitchen SA
  72. Petite Mort WA
  73. Pilu at Freshwater NSW
  74. Pipeclay Pumphouse, Mudgee NSW
  75. Popolo NSW
  76. Print Hall WA
  77. Public Dining Room NSW
  78. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  79. Reserve, Maleny QLD
  80. Rumi VIC
  81. Sake QLD
  82. Seaduction, Surfers Paradise QLD
  83. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  84. Seoul Food NT
  85. Shiki SA
  86. Silks WA
  87. Social Eating House, Broadbeach QLD
  88. St Isidore, Milton NSW
  89. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  90. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  91. Supernormal VIC
  92. Ten Minutes By Tractor, Main Ridge VIC
  93. Terre, Tuerong VIC
  94. The Apollo NSW
  95. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  96. The Studio Bistro, Yallingup WA
  97. Tipo 00 VIC
  98. Tomah Gardens, Bilpin NSW
  99. Ume NSW
  100. Yots Greek Taverna NT

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Major Lazer built this underground bunker with Dulles airport

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

domacronut

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Los Lobos

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.