Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. Ace Pizza WA
  2. Ajo NSW
  3. Andre’s Cucina & Polenta Bar SA
  4. Apothecary 1918 SA
  5. Aria, Brisbane QLD
  6. Aubergine ACT
  7. Bacash VIC
  8. Bellota VIC
  9. Bistro Guillaume WA
  10. Byron Beach Cafe, Byron Bay NSW
  11. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  12. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  13. Caveau, Wollongong NSW
  14. Chill on Tedder, Main Beach QLD
  15. Cho Cho San NSW
  16. Clareville Kiosk NSW
  17. Clarkes of Northbeach WA
  18. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  19. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  20. Da Mario NSW
  21. Da Noi VIC
  22. Duende WA
  23. D’Arry’s Verandah Restaurant, McLaren Vale SA
  24. Easy Tiger VIC
  25. Elyros VIC
  26. Euro QLD
  27. Frank Restaurant and Bar TAS
  28. Frogmore Creek Restaurant, Cambridge TAS
  29. From Orient SA
  30. Fuku WA
  31. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  32. Gaucho’s Argentinian Restaurant SA
  33. Golden Century NSW
  34. Gordita QLD
  35. Guillaume NSW
  36. Habitue WA
  37. Healesville Hotel, Healesville VIC
  38. Hellenic Republic VIC
  39. Hill of Grace Restaurant SA
  40. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  41. Jasmin SA
  42. Kappo VIC
  43. Kitchen by Mike NSW
  44. Leeuwin Estate Restaurant, Margaret River WA
  45. Long Apron, Mountville QLD
  46. LP’s Quality Meats NSW
  47. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  48. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  49. Merricote VIC
  50. Mezzalira ACT
  51. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  52. Minamishima VIC
  53. Mister Jennings VIC
  54. Monster Kitchen & Bar ACT
  55. Moon Under Water VIC
  56. Movida NSW
  57. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  58. Neram Harvest, Armidale NSW
  59. No 4 Blake Street WA
  60. Nobu Perth WA
  61. Nolita WA
  62. Northern Light VIC
  63. Novaro’s,Launceston TAS
  64. O Bar and Dining NSW
  65. Osteria at Stefano Lubiana Winery, Granton TAS
  66. Osteria Balla NSW
  67. Papi Chulo NSW
  68. Pata Negra WA
  69. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  70. Peel St SA
  71. Pei Modern VIC
  72. Prix Fixe VIC
  73. Public Dining Room NSW
  74. Pulp Kitchen ACT
  75. Remi De Provence TAS
  76. Restaurant Orana SA
  77. Ristorante Fellini, Main Beach QLD
  78. Rosa’s Kitchen VIC
  79. Sayers Sister WA
  80. Sean’s Panaroma NSW
  81. Simone’s, Bright VIC
  82. Spice Temple NSW
  83. Stillwater, Launceston TAS
  84. Subo, Newcastle NSW
  85. Supermaxi VIC
  86. The Apollo NSW
  87. The Atlantic VIC
  88. The Commoner VIC
  89. The Dispensary Enoteca, Bendigo VIC
  90. The Graham VIC
  91. The Lane Vineyard Restaurant, Balhannah SA
  92. The Mayflower Restaurant SA
  93. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  94. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  95. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  96. Tipo 00 VIC
  97. Tulip, Geelong VIC
  98. Via Alta NSW
  99. Vincent NSW
  100. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why Supergrass took ayahuasca with this martini

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:

macronutz

Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Malatestitas

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.