Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. A La Grecque, Aireys Inlet VIC
  2. A Tavola NSW
  3. Ace Pizza WA
  4. Africola SA
  5. Akiba ACT
  6. Alpha NSW
  7. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  8. Bar H Dining NSW
  9. Bistro Dom SA
  10. Bistro Guillaume VIC
  11. Bistro Molines, Mount View NSW
  12. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  13. Black Fire ACT
  14. Brooks VIC
  15. Buon Ricordo NSW
  16. Cafe Paci NSW
  17. Cafe Sopra NSW
  18. Cape Lodge, Yallingup WA
  19. Catbird Seat QLD
  20. Centonove VIC
  21. Chat Thai NSW
  22. Cho Cho San NSW
  23. Chris’s Beacon Point, Apollo Bay VIC
  24. Cinnamon Club SA
  25. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  26. Coppa Spuntino QLD
  27. Da Noi VIC
  28. David’s VIC
  29. Easy Tiger VIC
  30. Eleonore’s, Yering VIC
  31. Elyros VIC
  32. Fish Face NSW
  33. From Orient SA
  34. Gastro Park NSW
  35. Grossi Florentino VIC
  36. Hanuman NT
  37. Hordern’s, Berry NSW
  38. Italian&Sons ACT
  39. Izakaya Fujiyama NSW
  40. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  41. Kepos St Kitchen NSW
  42. Kiyomi, Broadbeach QLD
  43. Komeyui VIC
  44. Lake House, Daylesford VIC
  45. Lucy Liu Kitchen & Bar VIC
  46. Luxembourg VIC
  47. Malamay ACT
  48. Marque NSW
  49. Mercato, Daylesford VIC
  50. Moda QLD
  51. Montrachet QLD
  52. Mr Wong NSW
  53. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  54. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  55. Nobu VIC
  56. Novaro’s,Launceston TAS
  57. Oscillate Wildly NSW
  58. Peel St SA
  59. Pendolino NSW
  60. Pleased to Meet You WA
  61. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  62. Prego WA
  63. Prive 249 QLD
  64. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  65. Public Dining Room NSW
  66. Punch Lane VIC
  67. Pure South VIC
  68. Rockpool Bar & Grill NSW
  69. Rockpool Bar & Grill WA
  70. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  71. Seoul Food NT
  72. Sezar VIC
  73. Shira Nui VIC
  74. Silks WA
  75. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  76. South on Albany, Berry NSW
  77. Spice Temple VIC
  78. Tempura Hajime VIC
  79. The Apollo NSW
  80. The Artisan ACT
  81. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  82. The Commoner VIC
  83. The Devonshire NSW
  84. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  85. The Mayflower Restaurant SA
  86. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  87. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  88. Tipo 00 VIC
  89. Tonka VIC
  90. Uccello NSW
  91. Ume NSW
  92. Union Dining VIC
  93. Union Food & Wine VIC
  94. Urbane QLD
  95. Valentino VIC
  96. Vini NSW
  97. Westend Pump House TAS
  98. Wharf Restaurant & Bar, Nowra NSW
  99. Yering Station Wine Bar, Yarra Glen VIC
  100. Yots Greek Taverna NT

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why these Spanish hipsters filled a limousine with black people

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Y tu Northcote tambien

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.