Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. ┬┐Procedencia? VIC
  2. Akiba ACT
  3. Alpha NSW
  4. Appellation at the Louise, Tanunda SA
  5. Bang NSW
  6. Bar H Dining NSW
  7. Bar Lourinha VIC
  8. Belle’s Hot Chicken VIC
  9. Bistro Thierry VIC
  10. Black Cow Bistro, Launceston TAS
  11. Cafe Di Stasio VIC
  12. Cafe Sopra NSW
  13. Casa Ciuccio VIC
  14. Chin Chin VIC
  15. China Lane NSW
  16. Circa 1876, Pokolbin NSW
  17. Clarkes of Northbeach WA
  18. Coogee Pavilion NSW
  19. Da Orazio NSW
  20. Dandelion VIC
  21. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  22. Donovans VIC
  23. Ecco QLD
  24. Epocha VIC
  25. Esquire QLD
  26. Est NSW
  27. France-Soir VIC
  28. Frogmore Creek Restaurant, Cambridge TAS
  29. Gladioli, Inverleigh VIC
  30. Glass Brasserie NSW
  31. Grazing NSW
  32. Hanuman NT
  33. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  34. Il Bacaro VIC
  35. Il Centro QLD
  36. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  37. Kazuki’s, Daylesford VIC
  38. Knee Deep, Wilyabrup WA
  39. Lark Hill Winery Restaurant ACT
  40. Lebrina TAS
  41. Les Bistronomes ACT
  42. Lion Hotel SA
  43. Lotus Eaters, Cygnet TAS
  44. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  45. Mamasita VIC
  46. Matilda Bay Restaurant WA
  47. Mercato, Daylesford VIC
  48. Miki’s Open Kitchen, Margaret River WA
  49. Mocan & Green Grout ACT
  50. Montalto, Red Hill South VIC
  51. Morks ACT
  52. Movida VIC
  53. Mrs. Jones Devonport TAS
  54. Nunam WA
  55. Ocha VIC
  56. Papi Chulo NSW
  57. Pei Modern NSW
  58. Porteno NSW
  59. Prive 249 QLD
  60. Restaurant Amuse WA
  61. Restaurant Two QLD
  62. Rockpool Bar & Grill VIC
  63. Rockpool Bar & Grill WA
  64. Sagra NSW
  65. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  66. Sails, Noosa Heads QLD
  67. Salt Grill, Surfers Paradise QLD
  68. Sarti VIC
  69. Sayers Sister WA
  70. Sean’s Kitchen SA
  71. Sepia NSW
  72. Smolt TAS
  73. Sokyo NSW
  74. Stunned Mullet, Port Macquarie NSW
  75. Supernormal VIC
  76. Ten Minutes By Tractor, Main Ridge VIC
  77. The Atlantic VIC
  78. The Bathers’ Pavilion NSW
  79. The Boathouse on Blackwattle Bay NSW
  80. The Bridge Room NSW
  81. The Devonshire NSW
  82. The Dispensary Enoteca, Bendigo VIC
  83. The Foraging Quail QLD
  84. The Gala Restaurant WA
  85. The Grand VIC
  86. The Independent, Gembrook VIC
  87. The Peak, Maryvale QLD
  88. The Point VIC
  89. The Press Club VIC
  90. The Terrace Restaurant, Wahgunyah VIC
  91. The Trustee Bar & Bistro WA
  92. The Woodhouse, Bendigo VIC
  93. Valentino VIC
  94. Varnish on King WA
  95. Via Alta NSW
  96. Vintners Bar & Grill, Angaston SA
  97. Westend Pump House TAS
  98. Yoshii NSW
  99. Yots Greek Taverna NT
  100. Yu-u VIC

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why this iPod nano created artificial life with James Franco

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

El Barrios Blanco

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.