Cooking Show Name Generator

Over the last month, some desperate TV exec has been googling for “Cooking Show Name Generator” and landing on my site, only to be disappointed by my most popular post, The Billy Bragg Safeword Generator. Just in case you’re not in need of a safe word, generate yourself a new cooking reality show by pressing the button.

Australia’s top 100 restaurants

With the Australian Financial Review‘s announcement of Australia’s fifth top 100 list of restaurants after the one below, Gourmet Traveller’s, Yelp’s and Dimmi’s, I started to get that feeling of deja vu about the usual suspects who will populate the list. Now that readers don’t care what a printed newspaper says about restaurants and just want a listicle of places that they can search for on Urbanspoon or Yelp, who better to build that listicle than the votes of Australia’s chefs who don’t need to be paid for collating the list? So asks the AFR. My answer: a random number generator.

Press reload to try and make a better list. Try once per annum to generate an annual award show and give them a series of imaginary hats.

  1. A Tavola NSW
  2. Akiba ACT
  3. Alpha NSW
  4. Annie Smithers Bistrot, Kyneton VIC
  5. Aravina Estate, Yallingup WA
  6. Bang NSW
  7. Bar Lourinha VIC
  8. Billy Kwong NSW
  9. Bistro Guillaume VIC
  10. BLACK by Ezard NSW
  11. Bloodwood NSW
  12. Bodega NSW
  13. Bucci QLD
  14. Cafe Nice NSW
  15. Catalina NSW
  16. Cecconi’s VIC
  17. Chaco Bar NSW
  18. Chat Thai NSW
  19. Chianti SA
  20. Chin Chin VIC
  21. Courgette ACT
  22. Cullens Wines Restaurant, Wilyabrup WA
  23. Cupitt’s Kitchen Ulladulla NSW
  24. Darley’s, Katoomba NSW
  25. Easy Tiger VIC
  26. Esquire QLD
  27. Est NSW
  28. Frogmore Creek Restaurant, Cambridge TAS
  29. Galileo Buona Cucina WA
  30. Gerard’s Bistro QLD
  31. Grossi Florentino VIC
  32. Hanuman NT
  33. Harvest Cafe, Newrybar NSW
  34. Hentley Farm, Seppeltsfield SA
  35. Il Centro QLD
  36. Josh’s Cafe, Berrima NSW
  37. La Scala on Jersey NSW
  38. Lanterne Rooms ACT
  39. Lebrina TAS
  40. Leonards Mill, Second Valley SA
  41. LP’s Quality Meats NSW
  42. Magill Estate Restaurant SA
  43. Malamay ACT
  44. Manfredi at Bells, Killcare Heights NSW
  45. Margan, Broke NSW
  46. Mercato, Daylesford VIC
  47. Merricote VIC
  48. Millbrook Winery Restaurant Jarrahdale WA
  49. Momofuku Seiobo NSW
  50. Ms G’s NSW
  51. Muse, Pokolbin NSW
  52. O Bar and Dining NSW
  53. Ocha VIC
  54. Osteria di Russo & Russo NSW
  55. Parwana Afghan Kitchen SA
  56. Pearls on the Beach, Pearl Beach NSW
  57. Pipeclay Pumphouse, Mudgee NSW
  58. Pipers of Penola, Penola SA
  59. Polperro, Red Hill VIC
  60. Print Hall WA
  61. Prix Fixe VIC
  62. Provenance, Beechworth VIC
  63. Public QLD
  64. Punch Lane VIC
  65. Pure South VIC
  66. Racine, Orange NSW
  67. Remi De Provence TAS
  68. Rosetta VIC
  69. Royal Mail Hotel, Dunkeld VIC
  70. Sails on Lavender Bay NSW
  71. Sake QLD
  72. Sarti VIC
  73. Sepia NSW
  74. Shankers Authentic Indian Cuisine SA
  75. Shiki SA
  76. Simone’s, Bright VIC
  77. Skillogolee, Sevenhill SA
  78. Smolt TAS
  79. St Michael WA
  80. Street ADL SA
  81. Tartufo QLD
  82. Temporada ACT
  83. Tempura Hajime VIC
  84. Terroir Auburn, Auburn SA
  85. Tetsuya’s NSW
  86. The Artisan ACT
  87. The Devonshire NSW
  88. The Elbow Room, McClaren Vale SA
  89. The Mayflower Restaurant SA
  90. The Ox and Hound Bistro, Beechworth VIC
  91. The Salopian Inn, McLaren Vale SA
  92. Tipo 00 VIC
  93. Tonka VIC
  94. Union Dining VIC
  95. Union Food & Wine VIC
  96. Via Alta NSW
  97. Vincent NSW
  98. Vue de Monde VIC
  99. Yellow NSW
  100. Yots Greek Taverna NT

Vice is Hip Generator

You know that moment when you begin to suspect that a Twitter parody account is run by an algorithm? Maybe the Vice-like Twitter account @vice_is_hip is a bot, but just in case that it wasn’t, I built a bot to replace it. I present to you @vice_is_bot, generating an article for Vice every hour, on the hour.

Want to pitch something to Vice for yourself? You should write:

Why the working poor spells the end of corporate greed

Press reload for increasingly realistic ideas.

New Pastry Generator

With the advent of the cronut, humanity has entered a new golden age of pastry. Freed from the shackles of tradition, patissiers can now start a craze by pouring any number of unrelated recipes straight into the deep fryer. Uninspired? Let the random pastry generator do the work of original human thought.

You should go cook:


Press reload for more new pastry ideas.

Food Idea Generator

Are you a chef who has hit a creative wall? A home cook who has prepared everything that a Nathan Myhrvold-led team can throw at you?

Now that Ferran Adria is out of business, surely a machine can take his place as an inspiration for cooks too lazy to go foraging or grow their own food. I present to you my food idea generator.

It has currently made around 3,000 random modernist cuisine recipes for you to try. A handful look truly delicious but most are nauseating..

Try it for yourself here.

Melbourne Restaurant Name Generator: Mexican Edition

Since the City of Melbourne passed an edict that no new restaurant can get a liquor licence in Melbourne unless it serves a fish taco, my Melbourne restaurant name generator has become redundant. I’ve been meaning to write some reviews, but most of the new joints do a pretty good job of satirising themselves. So inspired by this tweet from Beechworth chef Michael Ryan, here’s a Mexican edition of the restaurant name generator. Name that new restaurant:

Subirse el carros

Press reload for more authentic Mexican suggestions. Also, inspired by my original generator, Willamette Week in Portland has made a local version.